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Like many of you, I feel so blessed having spent time with my family over Thanksgiving and for some reason I have felt an array of emotions in these last two weeks. Naturally, like all widows and widowers, this very special time of year cannot help but stir memories of days gone by when there were no empty chairs at the table and everyone present shared joys, smiles, hugs and laughter, but I have shed tears too that just sneak up when I least expect them.

It is hard to realize this is the eighth year without my incredible husband, sweetie pie and best friend Billy. His absence does not erase the happy, good and wonderful things I see and feel every day in our children and grandchildren, but the continual absence of his handsome face, dry sense of humor, and tender affection cannot be ignored.

As a fan of TV home makeover shows, I rejoice that the election coverage has ended (thank you Lord!). Now, I watch more Hallmark movies than ever, absorbing the beautiful decorations and the glory of the hometown feel in so many of them. I have also noticed that quite a few offer story lines about the adjustment for senior widows and widowers, but with middle aged and younger couples also adjusting to life without their significant other. So, for those of you who still have your spousal warm hand to hold, strong shoulders to lean on and arms that hold you tight, embrace it. Cherish every minute, every day and never, ever take for granted the days you have together to love each other.

In our case, we had a precious marriage and without question, God, Himself, brought us together; without fail … every day I thank Him for that. My privilege and honor of being married to my Billy is one of the greatest blessings in my life and I feel God’s bright light shown upon me when he asked me to be his wife. How we came together was truly a miracle from God and honestly? Unexpected.

I think about all of you each week between Gig Lines … I hope you all are healthy, happy and content with your life. I hope that we all have opportunities presented to us that give us a chance to show God’s love and compassion to those around us. None of us are perfect and sometimes far from it, but thankfully, He loves us anyway.

If you have not seen the movie A Man Called Otto, please try to access it through one means or another. It came out in 2022, stars Tom Hanks and Mariana Trevino, and it is worthy of a standing ovation – even if you watch it by yourself! It clearly demonstrates the human element in all of us and how we can easily make or break someone’s day; how we can lift their spirits and while the story line deals with the sad and sometimes sobering side of life … it helps us to understand why some people do the things they do or act grumpy or seemingly disinterested in everybody around them. We witness through the movie what a difference we can make in another person’s life … for the better. Trust me folks, it is worth your precious time.

About two weeks ago I was reviewing the VA.gov website specifically searching the “Presumptive List” of medical conditions that could be service-connected and while I know many of them by heart, I double checked anyway for the veteran I had been talking with the day before. What surprised me was when I saw “brain cancer” as one of the listed illnesses. Immediately, I called Patty O’Sullivan, our Dare County veteran service officer, since Billy had passed due to glioblastoma brain cancer. I wanted to know when it was added to the list. Patty was (as usual) on top of things and knew about it, but explained that it regarded Afghanistan and Iraq veterans. I said, “But not Vietnam Veterans?’ she replied “No, not right now.” Knowing Patty stays on top of things, she keeps abreast of any new additions or changes to the Presumptive List, and she will let me know if she receives word that the benefit will acknowledge veterans of the Vietnam War.

So, let me be perfectly clear – I wish, I want and I pray for every single benefit that our brave veterans can qualify for. I am thrilled for our servicemembers who have been acknowledged by the VA for their sacrifice while serving in Iraq or Afghanistan and any/every other war zone, but I wondered why my husband and no telling how many other veterans who served in Vietnam were denied on their claim for brain cancer.

Now Marsha’s on a mission! This week, I have reached out to the V.A. and to others to better understand the situation. I have spoken with V.A. reps and to a legislative assistant who is a governmental point of contact. I explained my question and he responded very kindly providing his email address so we could begin communicating about this topic and help expedite a response. I am one of these people who will not let something go until I am satisfied with an answer. I know it is the holidays, but trust me when I say I will stay on this and keep you all posted. The gentleman I spoke with sounded very sincere and interested in helping me get the answers I sought.

After my call to him and through researching various articles and summaries online about Vietnam and its link to brain cancer, it clearly referenced the “burn pits.” According to an article in the Rocky Mountain Brain & Spine Institute, it referenced the time President Biden addressed his concern about glioblastoma (GBM)/brain cancer having lost his son Major Beau Biden, who was an Iraq veteran, to the disease. Thank goodness following his address brain cancer was designated as a presumptive cause and I am thankful, but my question is why was there no inclusion of that benefit also for our Vietnam veterans? I am thankful that our servicemembers can now seek help and hopefully compensation for their suffering and loss due to that inclusion (if they served in Iraq or Afghanistan); I am not happy when I remember the look on my husband’s face having submitted a V.A. claim for his (GBM) brain cancer and the day his denial letter came to our home … that said it all. Knowing he had a terminal illness, he felt it was a slap in his face saying, “Well, I guess it just doesn’t matter … that I don’t matter.”

Troublemakers grind my nerves and I do not embrace people who are, but some things need to be clarified and justified – if they can be – but right now I am not seeing it, though I am not giving up. Hopefully soon I will learn more about why Vietnam veterans were not also afforded the opportunity to seek V.A. recognition for brain cancer; if the subject is still on the table and when a decision might be made. When I do, I will share it here in Gig Line.

If you are a veteran and you have any concern regarding your health, that could be service connected, please contact Patty. No matter the ailment, condition or worry, Patty will provide you with the information you need as to whether it falls into a category that could potentially help you. She knows what she is doing! Contact her office: 252-475-5604, cell/text: 252-473-7749 or email: patricia.o’sullivan@darenc.gov.

You matter, you REALLY matter to all of us! Patty is the certified expert in the field of V.A./veteran business and your best source of help in processing a claim application, etc. She will do her absolute best to meet with you, and offer her expertise to help you, I promise!

Two more things I need to mention:

Reminder – The Dare County Veterans Advisory Council Booth (and Patty) will be on site at the Soundside Event Site, on Sunday, December 15, 2024, from noon-4 p.m. in Nags Head (where The Wall That Heals was on site last November 2023). Please try to stop by if you have a chance and meet some of your fellow “brother and sister” service members who serve on our Veteran’s Council! They are all A+ people! The D.C.V.A.C. meeting will resume in January at the Dare County Administrative Building in the Courthouse complex, 954 Marshall C. Collins Dr., Manteo. Everyone is always welcome to attend.

Until next week, be healthy, safe and happy! Veterans – thank you for your service and sacrifice. Love yourselves because we sure love you! If you ever want to call me and chat, please do, my cell: 252-202-2058 or email: giglineheroes@aol.com. God bless you folks! Give hugs freely and look up. I love you all. Stay tuned!

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