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You might remember the times I have written about a Grief Share class that was organized and presented by Peggy Snead at Mount Olivet United Methodist Church in Manteo. Typically, it took place one evening a week for 13 weeks at no charge unless you opted to buy a class workbook (a major source of help), but otherwise no expense whatsoever. Peggy is a wonderful lady who, like so many of us, misses our spouses who have journeyed to Heaven and as much as our faith is strong and we hope to be reunited one day forever with our one true love, it would be downright silly if I professed that everything is hunky dory even knowing they are now in a much better place.

Peggy’s classes have no doubt been a blessing to everyone who has attended. Her true love and best friend … remember Mr. Eugene Snead? If you are an “Outer Banker” you have probably taken your driver’s license exam through him at some point over the years … and maybe many times when it came up for renewal. If you have, then it only goes to reason that you remember that nearly everyone feared sitting in front of him with teeth chattering, knees knocking and/or sweat on their brow waiting your turn or when, as the examiner, he rode out with us for the road test. Mr. Snead was unique in that if he issued your driver’s permit as a first time licensed 16-year-old or when you renewed your license, you knew positively that you deserved it! You had to know “the rules of the road;” how to navigate a three-point turn without flattening someone’s shrubbery that lined the curb to earn your license to drive. Mr. Snead was intimidating, but not because he was mean. Actually, it was because he was all business and if you could not prove your ability to safely drive on our roads and highways for the good of everyone, you would just have to grab a pair of good walking shoes and keep truckin’ until you could!

Mr. Snead was one-of-a-kind and as secretary of the Dare County Veterans Advisory Council for 11 years, I had the privilege of issuing his Dare County Veteran I.D. Card (renamed later as the Dare County Veteran Discount Card). He was a proud U.S. Army veteran having served our great nation not only in the military but also as a law enforcement officer prior to his 35-year career as a N.C. driver’s license examiner serving Dare, Tyrrell, Currituck and Hyde counties, as well as a 20-year volunteer with the Roanoke Island Volunteer Fire Department. He and Peggy have been known to all as devoted loving parents to their two sons, Scott and Kevin; resolute grandparents, faithful and involved church members and respected, celebrated and loved by everyone.

My true hero and a bright light in my life, my precious veteran husband Billy, passed into Heaven July 2016, and Peggy’s true love, Mr. Snead, who had bravely battled a lengthy illness, passed only months after Billy in September 2016. About a year after that Peggy initiated the Grief Share class and, while I had heard about it, I chose not to attend that first year. I needed more time because very often when I went out people approached me offering their sincere condolences and no matter where I was, I would break down and cry. Later, however, learning first-hand from folks who had benefited from Peggy’s class, I signed up as well and I was glad I did.

Her class was not invasive in any way. She was kind and welcoming; she offered a warm greeting; she asked that attendees keep confidential those in attendance; explained that no one had to identify themselves or even speak if they chose not to; no one was expected to tell the story behind their loss or grief but they were welcomed to if they felt up to it. There was nothing intrusive about the gatherings and the time spent in class with her was honestly a blessing. Simply put, life is beautiful, but we still experience loss, heartache and heartbreak; as widows (and widowers) we go through missing our husband or wife that for years we cuddled with, laughed and cried with, shared intimacy and affection with and when they ascended into Heaven, life changed drastically. No pillow or covers offer the comfort that strong arms around you do during hurricanes and scary threatening weather.

But it was clear that Peggy, being the genuine thoughtful lady that she is, decided to host the Grief Share class for the benefit of anyone dealing with grief over the loss of a loved one and once I was a part of the class, I realized how very different and yet very similar we each approached this major change in our lives. I cherish the classes with Peggy and spending time with the others who attended too. For eight years Peggy’s true love for Mr. Snead inspired her by giving her time and care to friends and strangers to help them transition to the vacancy they now felt in their life, and I (one of many) am thankful.

Peggy was such a great anchor even though she had experienced the passing of her husband, whom she loved very much. She conducted the classes faithfully at Mt. Olivet United Methodist Church downtown Manteo. I appreciated her time and her concern to help others who attended as well. You could go in and join the others and never say a word if you chose not to. It was a special time to spend an hour or so with others who felt your pain and heartache. Just being there seemed to help.

We are blessed in Dare County to have women who love our veterans and whether the servicemembers still reside here at our side or in Heaven and in our dreams, I am thankful for the respect they show us all. God bless you Peggy Snead … thank you for being the incredible woman you are and for the friendship you have offered for so long. No question, your “Mr. Snead” was and will forever be immensely proud of you!

In talking with Peggy this week about Grief Share, I learned that currently she is not hosting a class, however at whatever time Peggy schedules a new class, I will make sure to announce it through Gig Line. In the meantime, though, for anyone interested in attending one of Peggy’s classes in Manteo, please contact Mount Olivet United Methodist Church at 252-473-2089 x21 and leave a message that you would like to be contacted as soon as another class is scheduled in Manteo. Leave your name, the best number to reach you, your email address and Peggy or someone at the church will be in touch. If you would like to start the classes now, please contact Carolyn Nicholson of Liberty Christian Fellowship in Kill Devil Hills (Colington); phone: 540-661-6414 or email  carolyn.nicholson07@gmail.com. Carolyn conducts classes on Monday evenings from 6-8 p.m. through April 7, 2025; address: 244 Williams Drive, Kill Devil Hills, office phone: 252-441-6592. I promise folks, it is a means to cope, and you (or a friend’s) presence could give extra comfort and fellowship to others who are sad or hurt.

If you are interested, you can read more about it on the church website: www.libertyobx.com. I know from personal experience the great benefit as well and the materials provided are exceptional. As I said, the class is offered at no charge, except for the optional workbook ($15, not a requirement) and well worth it, accompanied by exceptional videos. In the videos, men and woman share their personal stories of loss. Everyone spoke from the heart and how the tremendous loss affected them in their daily life. Sometimes in the videos, testimonies were shared by a widower or a widow, or a sibling, or the parent or even a friend who missed their best friend and how they managed their grief.

Important: If your family member died after returning home from service in the Vietnam War and you would like their name included with the others in the mobile Education Center that accompanies the traveling  The Wall That Heals replica of the original Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., please contact our Dare County veteran service officer Patty O’Sullivan, office: 252-475-5604, cell/text: 252-473-7749 or email: patricia.o’sullivan@darenc.gov, and she will explain the process, assist you in implementing it so their name will be acknowledged and included in the Education Center unit as it travels across the United States. It is a respect displayed for our loved ones honored as a Vietnam veteran, plus it means that being a part of the “In Memory” program will entitle you to acknowledge your loved one on a public platform at the annual ceremony in D.C. as well. Only those who died while serving in Vietnam are engraved on the “Wall” itself, but this option is available to all of us whose family member died after coming home from the war and therefore acknowledged for all the world to see for their brave and selfless sacrifice. This program refers to “boots on ground” Vietnam veterans only or within 12 nautical miles seaward of the demarcation line of the waters of Vietnam. While we are so thankful to all our veterans, this option for the “In Memory” program does not apply to Vietnam Era servicemembers.

Until next time, my prayer is that you are healthy, safe and happy. Contact me if you would like – my cell/text: 252-202-2058 and email: giglineheroes@aol.com. Remember how much you mean to the world; are genuinely loved by our good and gracious Lord and by me too. God bless you! Stay tuned!

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